It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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