Don't make out with my wife yet
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
