If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
