Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
