I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Randomize
