Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Randomize
