If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
