I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
