plz talk dirty to me
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Randomize
