***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
