i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
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