it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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