my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Randomize
