garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
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