when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
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