So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.