is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
19 Confessions From A Dude With A Micropenis
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
17 Exes Admit Why They Were Crazy In Their Past Relationship
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Maybe he injected his testicle?