the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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