she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Randomize
