Who did Billy Mays play for?
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Randomize
