Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I am naked and annoyed.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
