Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
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