just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
