Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
Randomize