Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
