if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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