Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Drunk is not a location!
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
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