He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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