I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
