I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Randomize
