I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
You can't just leave with hair like that
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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