btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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