scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Randomize
