my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize