just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
