What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
