Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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