my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
