I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Randomize