I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
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