last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Randomize
