My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
