so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
