Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
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Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
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I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage