And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
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So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
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I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...