I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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