we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
