My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
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