tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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