OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
