are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
