he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
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