i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
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