I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Randomize