So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
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