he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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