I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
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