Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
