you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
The beers last night were like the tears from god
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Randomize
