just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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