wanna go halves on a baby?
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
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