idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Randomize
