Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
