oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
