she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
