im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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